things not to say to agender/neutrois people ( ` v `)/
- “can’t you just choose a gender?”
- “but what’s your REAL gender?”
- “can I pretend you’re a boy/girl so it’s easier?”
- “you can’t wear that/look like that, it’s too easy to guess what you really are”
- “you’ll confuse people, pick something else”
- “that’s a strange pronoun”
- “just stick to your old name, it’s nicer”
please be respectful and thank you \(` v ` )
PSA: Genderfluid people do not always have binary or “combination of binary” gender identities.
It’s not always “a mix of boy and girl”. It could be “a mix of boy and nonbinary” or “a mix of woman and nonbinary” or “a mix of one nonbinary gender and another nonbinary gender” or “a mix of a nonbinary gender and agender” or even “very distinct separate experience of two or more different genders or lack thereof”. (Not all of us get “mix-ey” lol.)
As a genderfluid person whose identity includes a nonbinary gender, it gets me kind of annoyed and sad to see genderfluid people ignoring the existence of nonbinary genders and agender folks. It’s obviously fine if that’s how being genderfluid works for you, but please try not to make broad statements like “Genderfluid means a mix of boy and girl”. Not all of us are a mix of boy and girl, and it’s tough to see our identities erased by fellow genderfluid folks.
if marriage equality is more important to you than the highly disproportionate number of homeless queer and trans youth or the violence against trans women of color, then I hate you, go away.
Cis people (and DFAB trans people) still don’t get that they don’t get to tell trans women how they should feel about people using slurs against us.
I don’t care if you claim to be trans* positive.
I don’t care if you have non-cis friends.
I don’t care if you are dating or have dated trans* people.
I don’t care if you are a feminist. An egalitarian. An ally. Or whatever.
You don’t get to tell us how to feel or what context is okay. Especially if you are telling us that we, trans women, cannot use the word. Look at what you’re saying there, can you not see how that fits into cis oppression (sry lack of a better word) of trans* people? You telling us what to think and feel, and if we can attempt to reclaim a slur used against us by cis people
There are two interlinked sets of double standards which privilege CAFAB trans people over CAMAB trans people with respect to the actual process of physical transition in the United States and most other Western nations:
First, there are the treatment protocols specified by the WPATH 6th Edition Standards of Care. Under these rules, CAFAB trans people are granted access to top surgery with no restrictions beyond “officially” transitioning under the supervision of a psychologist; the SoC explicitly states that “female-to-male patients may have surgery at the same time they begin hormones”. CAMAB trans people, on the other hand, are subject to an 18-month mandatory minimum for top surgery and must also have documented support from both their doctor and their surgeon agreeing that their existing breast size is inadequate.
Second, there are the legal gender change protocols specified by the laws of each state. These vary from state to state, but in most cases the law allows trans people to change the gender listed on their legal papers based on written documentation from a doctor certifying that they have had “appropriate medical treatment”. The exact definition of “appropriate medical treatment” is left to the courts, and the standard interpretation is that CAFAB trans people are granted legal recognition based on top surgery alone, but CAMAB trans people are only granted legal recognition if they have had bottom surgery.
Thus, the bottom line is that a CAFAB trans person can visit a psychologist just two times and get their authorization letter for top surgery, immediately obtain said top surgery from pretty much any surgeon in the country, and then immediately obtain legal ID in the proper gender. They can always count their surgery as a tax-deductible medical expense and/or use a tax-sheltered health savings account to pay for it, and in many cases they can also have it covered by medical insurance as a “preventative mastectomy”. They do have to wait twelve months for bottom surgery, but this is purely optional for them.
CAMAB trans people, on the other hand, cannot gain legal recognition until they have had bottom surgery, which is a minimum twelve months of regular visits to a psychologist before they get their primary authorization letter and then at least one visit to another psychologist for a confirming authorization letter. They can then seek one of a tiny number of specialists in the world who perform bottom surgery (most of whom are fully booked for months in advance), and only then can they gain legal recognition. They cannot count any of their surgery as a medical expense or use health savings account money for it, and it is specifically excluded from virtually all medical insurance. If CAMAB people want top surgery as well, they have a minimum of six more months before they can get authorization, and even then top surgery is only allowed if the “experts” agree that their breasts are too small.
Bolded for emphasis. Reproductive justice for trans* women? Not here…
Please, please, read and reblog this. It’s very important.
I have quite a few friends who I’m happy to know, and some of these people are transgender. In a conversation with one of my friends, who is very active in the trans community, he alerted me to a frightening trend that is growing within the cosplay community- a trend that absolutely needs to stop. Now.
There are many times that the trans community and the cosplay community overlap, especially in terms of chest binders. They are great for women who cosplay men, or for characters with flat chests. Even I have one. I use it to cosplay Castiel, from Supernatural. Unfortunately for everyone, chest binders can be a bit expensive. They usually can run between 30 to even 60 dollars, and unless to crossplay a lot, you’re not willing to put up that much cash.
And in the trans community it’s even harder- some people come out to their parents and get kicked out of the house, leaving them homeless and penniless. It’s terrible.
But what’s even more terrible is stealing from them.
There are organizations that will supply those young men with chest binders for free, so they can focus their money on more important things, like food or rent. This is a wonderful thing. But some of these organizations don’t have a very good screening process, and that’s where the problem comes in.
There are cosplayers who will outright lie to these people in order to get a chest binder for their crossplay, so they don’t have to spend ‘an obscene amount of money’. I’m not even kidding. I wish I could say that I was. But apparently people like this exist. This needs to stop, immediately. No one, not one single cosplayer, has the right to do this, ever.
So if you know about anyone who is doing this, a friend, tell them to stop- even if they’re low on cash, or crossplay a lot. If you have friends that are looking in to binders, urge them to buy one- and if they can’t help them consider other options, like sports bras and underarmour that is a couple sizes too small. (That’s what I used before I got my binder.)
But really now. This is just… Terrible. Let’s put a stop to this, and nip it in the bud before it gets too common. Okay?
I’ve never heard of this, and I know several trans people (though most are MtF) but I agree.
If you need a binder, BUY ONE. Don’t go and take from charities that are meant to help those who genuinely need one in order to feel comfortable in their own skin.
People. This is seriously important. I know what it’s like to do cosplay when you don’t have a lot of money, and how tempting it is to take advantage of anything that seems like it’ll save money.
I’ve overheard and seen conversations among younger cosplayers talking about “places that give away binders for free!!”, who I assume do not realize that kind of thing is not usually for people pursuing a hobby. There are a lot of places where trans* stuff intersects with cosplay, and unfortunately a lot of it is overlooked by cosplayers. To a pretty damaging extent! (Especially for the cosplay/FTM intersection, but that’s a talk for another day)
Anyways yeah don’t do that. If you make sure you’re doing right and you’re careful, there’s plenty of ways to bind without a binder. And in any case, 30$ for an underworks binder is cheaper then most contacts or wigs, and you’ll probably use it more often.
Everyone, please read this. Respect the trans* community, save up for your binders.
The Tumblr Transgender Clothing Exchange aims to give the tumblr trans* community easier access to gender-affirming clothing through an open and free forum for them to sell, buy, trade, and give away clothing items to other members of tumblr.com
SIGNAL BOOST THIS!!!