my hopes for season two of orange is the new black:
- the word ‘bisexual’
making new friends like
Awkward when your own therapist says with obvious surprise, “You hide your depression SO well. It’s amazing.”
Hmmmm not sure that’s what I’d call...
this book is about APOTHEOSIS and GOD and RELIGION and SOMETHING PULSING AND ALIVE BEHIND THE SUN, BANDED IN GOLD AND SINGING BURNING DIAMOND HYMNS...
Okay, okay, I’m going to tell you what Hermione sees in Ron.
A trio is a balancing act, right? They’re equalizers of each other. Harry’s like the action, Hermione’s the brains, Ron’s the heart. Hermione has been assassinated in these movies, and I mean that genuinely—by giving her every single positive character trait that Ron has, they have assassinated her character in the movies. She’s been harmed by being made to be less human, because everything good Ron has, she’s been given.
So, for instance: “If you want to kill Harry, you’re going to have to kill me too”—RON, leg is broken, he’s in pain, gets up and stands in front of Harry and says this. Who gets that line in the movie? Hermione.
“Fear of a name increases the fear of the thing itself.” Hermione doesn’t say Voldemort’s name until well into the books—that’s Dumbledore’s line. When does Hermione say it in the movies? Beginning of Movie 2.
When the Devil’s Snare is curling itself around everybody, Hermione panics, and Ron is the one who keeps his head and says “Are you a witch or not?” In the movie, everybody else panics and Hermione keeps her head and does the biggest, brightest flare of sunlight spell there ever was.
So, Hermione—all her flaws were shaved away in the films. And that sounds like you’re making a kick-ass, amazing character, and what you’re doing is dehumanizing her. And it pisses me off. It really does.
In the books, they balance each other out, because where Hermione gets frazzled and maybe her rationality overtakes some of her instinct, Ron has that to back it up; Ron has a kind of emotional grounding that can keep Hermione’s hyper-rationalness in check. Sometimes Hermione’s super-logical nature grates Harry and bothers him, and isn’t the thing he needs even if it’s the right thing, like when she says “You have a saving people thing.” That is the thing that Harry needed to hear, she’s a hundred percent right, but the way she does it is wrong. That’s the classic “she’s super logical, she’s super brilliant, but she doesn’t know how to handle people emotionally,” at least Harry.
So in the books they are this balanced group, and in the movies, in the movies—hell, not even Harry is good enough for Hermione in the movies. No one’s good enough for Hermione in the movies—God isn’t good enough for Hermione in the movies! Hermione is everybody’s everything in the movies.
Harry’s idea to jump on the dragon in the books, who gets it in the movies? Hermione, who hates to fly. Hermione, who overcomes her withering fear of flying to take over Harry’s big idea to get out of the—like, why does Hermione get all these moments?
[John: Because we need to market the movie to girls.]
I think girls like the books, period. And like the Hermione in the books, and like the Hermione in the books just fine before Hollywood made her idealized and perfect. And if they would have trusted that, they would have been just fine.
Would the movies have been bad if she was as awesome as she was in the books, and as human as she was in the books? Would the movies get worse?
She IS a strong girl character. This is the thing that pisses me off. They are equating “strong” with superhuman. To me, the Hermione in the book is twelve times stronger than the completely unreachable ideal of Hermione in the movies. Give me the Hermione in the book who’s human and has flaws any single day of the week.
Here’s a classic example: When Snape in the first book yells at Hermione for being an insufferable know-it-all, do you want to know what Ron says in the book? “Well, you’re asking the questions, and she has to answer. Why ask if you don’t want to be told?” What does he say in the movie? “He’s got a point, you know.” Ron? Would never do that. Would NEVER do that, even before he liked Hermione. Ron would never do that.
this blog typically only mentions harry potter when discussing criticisms of it, but can i take a moment to talk about hermione granger
this is a girl who finds out that magic is real and she’s a witch and promptly spends the next several months studying in case there’s a test
and, three years later, her greatest fear is still that she’s failed all of her tests and, by implication, will be kicked out of the wizarding world
this is a girl who figures out singlehandedly that nicolas flamel is the one who invented the philosopher’s stone, that the potions puzzle can only be solved by logic, that the monster in the chamber of secrets is a basilisk and that it’s petrifying people AND that carrying around a mirror will protect you from it, that sirius black sent harry that broomstick, that professor lupin is a werewolf, that while severus snape is the worst person ever he’s not actually working for voldemort, that the person who wrote in harry’s 6th year potions book is incredibly sketchy, that godric’s hollow is a terrible place to spend christmas
this is a girl who has despicable slurs thrown at her by the SON OF A KNOWN HATE CRIMINAL when she is TWELVE, this is a girl who is casually and viciously insulted by her potions teacher on her FIRST DAY OF CLASS and again and again afterwards (“i see no difference” when her face is hexed to make her teeth grow out like rabbits’, “insufferable know-it-all”, etc), this is a girl who is literally attacked by an incredibly deadly basilisk because she is a muggle-born (again when she is TWELVE), who is CONTINUALLY in physical danger simply because she happens to be a witch with muggle parents
this is a girl who actively endeavors to end the oppression of others by starting a society to protect the welfare of house-elves; this is a girl who responds to bullying and hatred and discrimination by being the best damn student hogwarts has ever seen; this is a girl who, when she is eleven years old, knows that in desperate times, “kindness and bravery” are more important than getting to one-up your peers academically
this is a girl who erases the fact that her family knows she exists in order to help save the world
in a deeply flawed narrative, hermione granger is fucking flawless
any decent Potterwhovian knows in their hearts that Hermione Granger would literally be the best companion of all time like i can just see it:
"Oh, honestly, Doctor. How many times do i have to tell you that you can’t land the TARDIS inside the grounds of Hogwarts?"
"Don’t ‘well’ me. Have you ever even opened Hogwarts, A History?"
"Actually, no. TARDIS, Time Lord, not magic."
"Hermione, witch, yes magic."
like i haven’t shipped this hard since season one ezria
i have a lot of secret hermione headcanons like. she was insufferable at muggle school as well and generally not well liked. she was the girl whose parents were both dentists and she read too many books and tried to talk to people in her class about them but they generally thought she was trying to show off. so when she gets into hogwarts she throws herself into the new culture and reads as many books as her parents will pay for, including her text books and several history books and when her parents refuse to buy the unabridged history of magic and also some legends, she seriously considers hiding out in flourish and blotts so she can just read it in the bookstore. but she wears her robes around the house and sends about forty letters to hogwarts asking questions about the school year and the course load and how the grading scale works and if they’re very sure they’ve told her everything she’s going to need. and her parents are worried about her but they had been already? because she has such a hard time making friends. and they hope she’ll be able to make friends at hogwarts.
the first letter she sends them is full of descriptions of the castle and the sorting and background information on gryffindor and she mentions that she met neville and he’s very sweet, and the classes are so interesting, and she loves them very much! and the next few are also like that and kind of strained. and they suspect (correctly) that she again does not have friends.
a couple weeks into november, she sends them a letter full of complaints about ron’s study habits and how he’s teaching her wizard chess and how both he and harry are very brave but also not very good students. and she tells them about hagrid, who is eight and a half feet tall and the nicest person she has ever met.
they stop worrying as much until they get a letter at the end of term saying that hermione has broken about 20 school rules and also congratulations your daughter scored over 100% on almost every exam.
can we just take a moment to imagine little cute six-year-old hermione reading matilda
and peering into this book about a smart, bookish girl who could move things with her mind
and then can you imagine her concentrating very hard on the books on the bookshelf and slowly, slowly, getting them to move
OH MY GOD
i’m reading a rly good post-dh non-epilogue compliant hp fic and it’s making me ship hermione/neville/draco??? i don’t know how i got to this point.
hermione granger the smartest witch of her age
hermione granger who in book two figured out that the thing turning kids into stone and killing other kids off was a giant fucking snake living in the secret fucking basement AND NO ONE HAD DISCOVERED IT IN A THOUSAND YEARS
hermione granger who was so smart and so studious that she traveled back and forth in time to learn everything she could about a world she’d never known about, and that itself was torn apart over whether to treat her as one of their own or as scum
hermione granger who at fourteen discovered and trapped an illegally shapeshifting adult with considerable media sway and blackmailed her remorselessly
hermione granger who at fifteen decided to forge her own brand of justice with cool-headed cunning and subtle leadership “here’s what we have to do to protect ourselves,” she murmurs, drafting plans and strategies, when the law is useless you write your own, as harry takes the lead
hermione granger who was thrown into a world where people like her were reviled and persecuted at the tender age of eleven but learned all its tricks and whims, its secrets and deepest thoughts, who cut it open with the keen knife of intelligence and discipline and learned how to pluck each nerve and make it sing for her
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ HERMIONE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ GRANGER *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧